Risk
by tiff098765
Summary: After Kate Beckett is shot... this is what happens next. My first work of fiction.
1. Chapter 1

As her eyes flitted closed, the tears pooling in Castle's eyes tracked down his face. Help was already swarming, and he knew he should get out of the way. It was a police captain's funeral, after all, and there were all sorts of emergency personnel there for it. But he couldn't move. Everything swirled around him while medics jumped in front of him, nudging him out of the way. He couldn't hear anything. He saw in slow motion radios being yelled into and Jim Beckett running towards them. He could see the words, "Katie, no!" form on the man's lips and at the same time plenty of men running toward the source of the shot, guns drawn. He could see their mouths forming shouts, too, but all he could hear was the dull roar of his own blood rushing through his head. He managed to stand when the ambulance arrived, and he was only slightly aware that Martha and Alexis were holding his hands and hugging his arms.

The motion swirling around him was a blur, but he saw a medic he'd gotten to know shouting at him as they hefted the gurney into the bus shouting what looked like very familiar words, "Castle, you coming?" Castle focused on the man and clear sounds suddenly blasted his ears. Yelling, crying, sirens, and the medic's voice shouting, "Ride up front!" as he slammed the back doors shut. Castle jumped so he didn't miss the chance to ride and it was only after the ambulance started screaming down the road that it occurred to him that maybe he should have let Jim ride instead. Everything seemed to change from slow motion to hyper speed, and they flew to the hospital. He found himself praying for the second time in his life, begging God to save her, and thanking Him for the openings in traffic. His mind flipped to the first time he'd prayed, when Alexis was missing in a department store when she was four, and his mind kept going to terrors like what had happened to Adam Walsh when Rick was just a boy. He could imagine how Jim Beckett was feeling right now, and hoped the man was just behind the ambulance in a car.

They burst through the doors into the hospital where there was already staff waiting to take over, and he jogged along trying to understand everything the medics were telling the doctors. Then he felt a hand pushing him back, and a nurse was telling him he had to wait there. His eyes pleaded, his voice begged, "I'm her partner." The nurse hurriedly said she'd bring news as soon as there was any. He thought he was about to collapse, or throw up, or both. He didn't know how long he stood there staring at the Authorized Personnel Only sign when there were hands on his again, and he saw people who loved him at his sides. He tried to hide the terror in his expression, but when it came to his feelings for Kate, he always had a tell. "Daddy, she'll be okay. She's fierce." His daughter's sweet voice quivered, and he scooped her up into a hug. Martha wrapped her arms around both of them shushing them and trying to calm them.

The room quickly filled, everyone waited impatiently, and finally the door opened. Rage filled him as the last person in the world that Castle wanted to see walked in and went straight to Jim Beckett. As far as he knew, Kate and Josh were still together, but he couldn't be sure. He didn't tell her when he broke it off with Gina, she just seemed to know. Kate had certainly been more open to Castle lately, so he'd assumed - or at least hoped - Doctor Motorcycle Boy was out of the picture. But there he was, giving Jim the news of how she was doing. He was close enough to hear, and he didn't step any closer for fear of decking the doctor for not being at the funeral in the first place. Beyond jealousy, he hated the man for never being there for her.


	2. Chapter 2

Castle heard Motorcycle Boy telling Jim that he'd just come out of surgery with someone else when a nurse told him what was going on. He checked in to get an update, and thought he should inform the family. Castle noticed that glance at him out of the corner of Josh's eye after he said "family." Then Josh shifted his body to exclude Castle from the conversation at least physically. Jim spoke, and Josh answered that he wasn't her doctor because he knew her personally, but he'd keep informed. Josh came out to speak to Jim one more time over the next 4 hours, while everyone else waited. God, the waiting. Castle couldn't stand it. After Josh's second update, Jim came to Castle. They'd talked to each other during the infernal waiting, but this time Jim asked, "So how does she know that doctor?" Confusion showed on Castle's face while delight surged in his brain. She hadn't bothered to tell Jim about her beau. Nice. Castle answered, "Oh, they've been out a few times, I guess." Jim nodded in understanding. "Well, that explains the 'go to hell' look he was giving you. Probably sick of hearing your name during their dates."

Finally Kate's doctor came out and said that she came through the surgery fine, that she was very strong and obviously a fighter. She was sedated and in critical condition, and they would keep her sedated overnight. In the morning they would remove the sedative and see if she could wake on her own. The relief in the room was palpable. It was like everyone had been holding their breath all afternoon and could finally exhale. People slowly began to leave until it was just her family still in the room. Ryan and Esposito were her brothers, and Lanie her sister. They all sat, together, in the quiet. Martha stroked Castle's back, and encouraged him. Lanie asked Jim if she could go get anything for him, and Martha announced she would get Richard's things and a couple of blankets for the men. Everyone knew that neither man was leaving until Kate was awake and stable.

Late the next afternoon, she moved a little, but still didn't wake up. Friends came by all day to check on her, but they only had limited visitation time in the ICU. Castle seethed every time Josh popped in to check on her, but neither man bothered to speak to the other. In front of her, they've always plastered on fake smiles and acted civil. With her unconscious, there was no point in bothering. When the shift changed, the night nurses came in to introduce themselves, and Jim was thoroughly perplexed when Castle told them he's her partner. Clearly they were more. He guessed it had to do with the pretty boy doctor, and decided to ask about it later. He noted the flash of fury in Rick's eyes when Josh checked in for the last time of his shift and said he had to go get some sleep because he has surgery in the morning.


	3. Chapter 3

Early the next morning, Jim stepped out to get their coffee. They had another hour before the first visitation shift, and they were both stiff from trying to sleep in the waiting room. A nurse came out and smiled at Rick that Kate Beckett had started to rouse. Against the rules, Castle follows the nurse in. She whispers for him to stay quiet & out of the way. She doesn't want to get in trouble for letting him in. He can see Kate's eyes moving under her eyelids, and he'd give anything to see those beautiful doe eyes open up. He's swept with relief as he watches her move a little, and reaches for her. "Kate. I'm here, Kate," he whispers, and strokes her hair.

The nurse is surprised by the tenderness, because she thought he was the partner and Josh was the boyfriend. Josh had been there every moment he could that was not during visiting hours. He'd said he didn't want to be in the family's way during their precious little time they allowed. But what the nurse sees right then on Castle's face looks a lot more like love than partnership.

As Kate's doctor and nurses come in, Rick gets moved back against the wall. Then Josh comes in. Josh is checking on her, holding her hand as she's waking. Castle wants to pick him up and throw him out the window, but just stays back out of the way and watches. He hears her breath catch, but those eyes he's desperately wanting to look into aren't open yet. Josh is standing close to her, still holding her hand, looking for the same things Rick is wanting to see. She sighs, and Josh squeezes her hand. She tries to swallow, and he slips an ice chip into her mouth. Rick is screaming inside, and doesn't even notice the nurse studying him intently.

Finally Kate whispers, "Rick..." Josh leans in to hear her better, sure he misheard. She swallows, opens her eyes, sees Josh. She searches his face, lets go of his hand, and whispers again, "Rick." Josh's face falls, and he nods. He knows to be true what he's suspected all along. He steps aside, looks Castle in the eye, and says, "She wants _you_." Rick registers the sadness on the other man's face and slips over to her side. Josh stands at the door. He can't make himself leave her, but sees her vitals are stable as she wakes fully. He watches as Castle kneels, takes her hand, & strokes her hair off her forehead. Josh sees Kate and Castle get lost in each other's eyes. He cringes as he sees her smile a little; one little tear escapes her eye, and she squeezes Rick's hand. Josh sulks out to tell Jim that she's awake & stable. He asks her father to tell her goodbye for him, and to tell Rick good luck. And he disappears through the double doors.


	4. Chapter 4

Kate stays at Rick's loft while healing. Jim wanted to take her home, but expected that her future was with this man, so Castle's home was where she belonged. Rick brings her breakfast in bed, and she laughs at how his hair stands up in the morning. Laughing hurts, and he desperately tries to soothe her. He can't stand to see her hurting. They share many tender moments over the next few days watching movies and eating popcorn, playing cards with Alexis, listening to Martha regale about her adventures on stage. He takes care of her, and that almost overwhelms her. There's the adoring ribbing and soft touches. She holds his hand, looks deep into him, and thanks him; he kisses her forehead. They hold each other while she cries for Roy... she buries herself against his chest, clinging to him. He holds her tightly... caressing her. He wants to kiss away the tears so badly, but doesn't make a move. He doesn't want to take advantage of her emotional fragility; he respects her far too much for that. Instead he kisses the top of her head, and when she stops crying, he simply gets her a handkerchief. Several times, she wakes up to see him watching her from the chair in the corner of the guest room. He just meets her eyes, smiles sweetly, and asks if she needs anything. Her heart flip-flops and she's terrified of it. She searches for a distraction. She tells him she's ready to try to walk some more.

He'd overheard the physical therapist tell her not to over-do it, and she'd overheard the physical therapist tell him not to baby her too much. He tells her she's done too much already today, but Beckett is determined to make herself heal quickly. As he expected, she overdoes it, and he has to carry her back to her bed. She is angry at herself for not being able to conquer this, and for not saving Roy, and for not understanding the glint before she got shot, but mostly for not saying it back to Rick at anytime during her stay at his place... but she thinks maybe she'll get the nerve. He hasn't brought it up again, and he clearly doesn't know she remembers him saying it. He brings her painkillers with her favorite sparkling water... _Damn_, she thinks, _I didn't know anyone knew I liked fancy water, especially which brand is my favorite. Just another detail he knows about me. I wonder how many more there are._ She watches him come in, still mad at herself, but taken by how sweet he is. He asks if she's okay; she thinks, _I need to say it_. She pauses, and timidly says, "Rick, I… I'm fine. Thanks." _Chicken._ One more thing to be mad at herself about. She can't stand this anymore. She focuses instead on building up her strength.

As soon as she can walk without doubling over, she insists on going home. He tries to talk her out of it, but her mind is set, and she's started calling him Castle again. He has his car service take them to her apartment. When he sets her bags inside her door she doesn't invite him in. He studies her, and she tries not to melt when he says, "You can always call me if you need anything at all. Always." She glances down at the floor, then looks back up, into his eyes, and says, "I know I can. Thank you." She touches his check, softly, hesitates… then steps back into her apartment, and closes the door. Kate leans back, against the door, slides down and sits on the floor, head and shoulders sagging in defeat. Then she hears his soft voice, "See you tomorrow, Detective Beckett." She can't see him, but knows exactly what heartbroken look he's wearing. It matches her own.


	5. Chapter 5

When she arrives at her desk late the next morning, Castle brings her a coffee and quietly tells her she shouldn't be there. The concern in his blue eyes almost undoes her. But she can't respond because everyone else comes to check on her, too. "I'm fine," she says, listens to a little gallows humor, and settles in to do a little paperwork. Though she knows she should keep her workday short, she wonders what her boys are working on. Ryan gives her a "Duh" look and says, "We're trying to catch the SOB who shot you." She sits on Ryan's desk to join in their conversation, so all three men stand to block her view of the board. Esposito crosses his arms & makes his serious face, Ryan shakes his head no, and Castle tells her, "You have to heal. You have to let us do this." She wonders how much healing he expects from her. Eventually she caves, hating to trust them with something so huge. When she decides to head home, Castle catches up to her at the elevator, telling her he'll bring her some dinner & to get some rest. She smiles a little and says okay. After going home to spend some time with Alexis, he heads to Beckett's with dinner & a con-artist movie. He does this night after night, with them enjoying the time together… he puts his arm around her and she snuggles against him, but pushes away with an excuse to refill their sodas when she feels his warm soft lips brush against her forehead. He doesn't repeat the gesture, but he keeps coming over each night with a movie she loves, still being closer that just a friend. It seems intimate to her, but then again, different that any physical intimacy she'd ever known. She likes this new routine, and slowly, she softens, beginning to call him Rick again.

But after a week, he doesn't bring a movie. He brings a board game. She looks at him funny. "Risk?" "Yeah. I thought it might be fun. Unless, of course, you want to play strip poker." _Damn_, she thinks, _he's cute when he does that little eyebrow wiggle_. She bites her bottom lip in that way she knows he can't resist, and she replies, "Teach me the game," hoping that the risk in the board game would gloss over how much she knows her heart is at risk. After more than an hour of talking, laughing, bantering, and playing the game, she asks how long this game lasts. Rick folds his hands in his lap, changes from playful to serious, looks deep into her, and replies, "It lasts as long as you let it. Your strategy so far has been to counter me, to keep me from winning. You can be aggressive and take the win, you can be passive, and let me take it, but neither of us will win until you stop counter-attacking. You have to take the risk." Her breath catches, she feels naked in front of him, her mind is reeling. He's right. She looks down at the game board, then slowly reaches down. She moves it aside, takes his hands in hers, heart pounding. She lifts her eyes and meets his deep gaze, and leans in for a slow, soft, warm kiss.


	6. Chapter 6

Rick can barely contain himself as passion floods him, he wants to scoop her up and carry her off to bed. He wants to touch and kiss every inch of her. But he believes he needs to let her set the pace, and he is afraid of hurting her. He knows she's not capable of intense physical activity for at least a couple more weeks. He's got to change the direction of where this is heading or he'll explode. He sucks in several deep breaths, knowing her wound is still tender to the touch, and resists pulling her tight against his body. He pulls her closer and tries not to lose his ability to control himself in the heat of her touch. She runs her fingers through his hair, noticing how soft and feathery it is. Her heart is pounding in her chest, and she lets herself be enveloped by his scent and his warmth.

Surrounding her with his strong arms, holding her so close on the couch, Rick tilts her head back so he can look in her eyes once more. He thinks he'll never get enough of that sight. She thinks, at that moment, she would do anything he wanted. He had made up his mind in that cemetery that if she made it, he would do this right. And he would take any opportunity she gave him to make it real. He knows this is his moment, and he's got to be sure to get this right. "Kate…" "Mmm?" He raises her fingertips to his lips and kisses them gently without breaking eye contact. "Kate. I would love to be able to take you on a proper date. May I?" He fights the panic of not saying the right words when he catches a flash of fear cross her features. But he'd expected she might react that way, and had planned just what to say. "Why, Miss Beckett, are you still afraid of being with me? After all this, do you really still think I'll hurt you?" His words are warm and soft, laced with the slightest hint of humor. Clearly, he understands her. Kate blushes and is suddenly sheepish. But she steels herself a little, and says, "No. I trust you. It's just… different. With you, I mean." She thinks back to him calling her out for staying in relationships with men she didn't love. This is definitely different. "What do you have in mind?"

He leans down and kisses her neck, her jaw, her ear. Then he answers, "There's a benefit this weekend I'd love to take you to. If you want, I'll get tickets for our friends so you'll know people there. It'll be safe." He sees the question on her face, and the clarity when she realizes all he meant. That it would be emotionally safe for her to be with the people she cared about instead of having to make small talk with strangers or, worse, get questioned by the media. She also knows, despite her small amount of time actually at the 12th, that the precinct was furiously trying to find whoever hired the man who shot her, that there had been a media circus that Castle had been cocooning her from, and it would be a good idea to have a few more cops around if she went out in public. As she considers, she tilts her head toward him to indulge in feeling his warm kisses on her forehead and eyes. "I won't push," Rick says while he runs his fingers down her back; "We don't have to say anything about us if you don't want to." With some trepidation, she accepts, and shifts back to let him lavish kisses on her neck.


	7. Chapter 7

She was stunning in her gown, and he was beyond handsome in his tuxedo. Lanie, Esposito, Jenny, and Ryan followed them in, also dressed to the nines. The cops had all noticed that the limo Rick had them driven in was one normally used for visiting dignitaries. Armored. He wasn't taking any chances. But no one brought it up. This was supposed to be a fun night out. The friends had a reserved table but quickly reached the dance floor. Kate had danced with Rick before, but this time he was completely focused on her. He whispered in her ear, and she laughed aloud. Rick was a puddle when Kate laughed. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. _Thank you, God_; he thinks. She catches him staring and smiles that big brilliant smile. "What?" she asks. He smirks and says, "Just finding religion, I guess." She shakes her head and notices for the thousandth time how much his eyes sparkle when he's smiling.

Sitting at a table, enjoying dinner & a glass of wine - sparkling juice for Kate in case she needs her painkiller - the friends are all laughing & having a great time. Everyone notices Beckett's & Castle's flirtiness, but as usual, Ryan & Esposito just give each other a knowing look then shrug it off. But the ladies don't. Lanie and Jenny tag-team an inquisition about why Rick & Kate aren't a couple yet. He gives her a look that shouts, "Yeah, why not?" He decides he'll step in if she gets uncomfortable or angry, but is more than curious about how this would play out. She stammers, and tries to act like they just couldn't. Despite all the nudges from the friends over the last year and a half, she still thinks she's kept her feelings for Rick Castle secret from everyone else. Kate tries to change the subject, but the girls just will not leave it alone. The men (greatly amused) keep their mouths shut. She knows it's futile. Why bother keeping it a secret after all the magical kisses over the last two days? Rick sees and wonders about the mischievous smirk on her face when Kate gives up and says, "Fine." Lanie repeats, "Fine?" "Yeah, fine. You want it, you got it." She turns, grabs Castle and kisses him deeply right in front of God & everybody. The resulting stunned gasps are met with Castle's shocked slack-jawed Holy Crap look. He looks like a teenage boy at prom who just realized he might get lucky for the first time. Ryan and Lanie are still wide-eyed, watching in amazement, while Jenny and Esposito just smile, like they knew it all along.

Castle jumps, hurrying to get up, taking Kate's hand, and saying to Ryan & Esposito, "You guys can grab a cab… I need to take her home now!" But they all laugh at Rick's comment, and Kate pulls him back down into his seat down and grins. He puts his arm around her & she leans against him, and they continue the evening as three happy couples.

Monday morning, with her medical leave officially over, Castle & Beckett arrive together at the precinct. Beckett's not sure how to handle what she knows will be office gossip. She didn't really care when co-workers saw her with other men, but she didn't glow in their presence. She positively radiated with Rick. She just hopes she doesn't act like a giddy schoolgirl and can keep being the calculating professional she had trained herself to be. Castle knows exactly how to handle it. Alone for a moment, he kisses her deeply but tenderly in the elevator, but stops just in time for the doors to open & no one sees. She likes it. Someone rides up one floor then gets off. The doors close, and he kisses her again, this time more passionately with one hand on her cheek and the other in laced her hair. But when they reach the floor for homicide, he doesn't stop for the doors, just keeps kissing her, and lets the door open & everyone sees. The cat calls & howls, a "Go get her, Castle!" and an "About damn time," meet their ears, and he finally releases her. He holds her gaze for a quick moment with a bit of a smirk & cocked eyebrows. Her ears, neck, and cheeks flush bright pink and she walks out trying to act like everything's normal. She figures it is the new normal. Rick saunters out with a smarmy grin, catches up to her with two long strides, and takes her hand. He watches her with a sly smile, not sure if she'll let him hold her hand here, and they're almost to the bullpen so it's only a momentary risk. But she doesn't pull away. Instead, she smiles almost deviously and gives him a quick wink.


	8. Chapter 8

"So you've been back to work for a few days… how's that going?" the department psychologist asked. Most cops hated talking to therapists, but Kate Beckett wasn't 'most cops.' She'd found their usefulness after her mother died, then again after she became obsessed with solving her mother's case as a rookie. There was something in the clinical detachment that made it easier to talk. "Fine. Everything seems to be getting back to normal." "And you've met the new captain?" Beckett nodded in the affirmative. "Seems decent enough." There was something in her expression that made the therapist note another question on that topic, but that wasn't where he wanted to take the conversation just then. "But not everything's back to how it was, beyond who's in the captain's office." She knew he was leading her, but she wasn't going to talk about Castle unless he asked.

"I hear you two made quite the entrance the other morning." Kate raised her eyebrows and nodded. He hadn't even bothered specifying who "you two" included. "When did that start?" She mulled over the answer. When she walked into the book release party nearly three years ago to ask him to help with a case where the killer was recreating homicides from his books. When he leaned in close one day and blurted in surprise, "You smell like cherries." When they read a suspect's love letters looking for clues, and he read aloud a line ending in, "I love you," but looked at her as he finished reading and made her heart stop for a second. When she realized that he never had a rebound fling after she overheard him break up with Gina. When he turned down a night with a movie starlet. When he'd kissed her so passionately before they rescued Ryan and Esposito. When they'd almost frozen to death holding each other. When they were in Los Angeles and he'd told her how much he's amazed by her. "Kate? It's not that hard of a question." "Mmm. About a week ago?" The doctor jotted another note. "Why don't you sound sure about that answer?" Kate sighed and stared at the floor.

"I remember being shot. I remember Castle being over me, talking to me. I remember it all. But it's like a dream, and I can't decide if he really said it, or if I hallucinated it." The doctor was surprised. "Kate, it's rare for people to remember traumatic events." "I know, but… I talked to Lanie, and she said he really was leaning over me, holding me, and talking to me. So at least that part's real. I was so focused on him, trying to hang on to him, trying to stay alive…." Her voice trailed off. "…I still have nightmares. Every night. I don't know what's a dream or nightmare or real memory. Sometime he's the one who's been shot. Sometimes I have been, and he's talking to me." "And what do you think he said?" She hesitated for a moment, then simply said, "That he loves me." The doctor nodded, and she wished she knew what his facial expression meant. What was that? He looked almost amused? "And you doubt that he loves you?" She didn't answer. He waited her out. She finally said, "I mentioned it to Lanie last night.… She said Helen Keller could have seen that he loves me, and I was being a fool to doubt it." "But you're not convinced. Well, detective, I suggest you look at the evidence before you. What you know to be true from times that you weren't in the middle of a trauma. From before, and after. You're an excellent detective. You'll find your answer." She'd known that answer for a long time from the whiteboard of evidence in her mind. She just didn't trust her mind, not when it came to Richard Castle.


	9. Chapter 9

Castle was shocked when she let their physical relationship become public knowledge. Apparently no one else was surprised that they'd finally gotten together. But he knows that Kate is still holding back. He can tell she's having trouble sleeping, but she won't tell him about her nightmares. He can only assume they're about Roy's shootout, her mother's murder, and her own shooting. He has his own nightmares, ones where she doesn't wake up in the hospital. She never wakes up. He sometimes dreams that she didn't stop him when he was beating Lockwood's face in for taking aim at her months before, and he killed the assassin with his bare hands. While it's still a nightmare, at least he wakes up with some satisfaction from that one. So Rick understands most of what Kate's going through, but she doesn't want to talk it out. He's ready to fight for her. He won't be passive anymore. His only struggle is how to be aggressive & intimate at the same time, and how to do it without pissing her off. She likes to be the alpha. She feels safe there. But lately, she's been nothing but safe.

Every glint off a car door makes him grab her hand; every loud noise still makes them both jump. She's sick of it, and she wants it all to be simple again. He tries to leave her alone, to work things through, but can't stand to actually leave her alone. She's starting to get sick of the hovering, too. They both know that there's probably still a contract out on her, and any moment, another bullet could find her. But that's the daily life of every cop. They're both exhausted.

He walks her into her apartment and quickly does a walk-through, resisting saying "Clear," room by room, as he's heard the team do countless times before. He makes sure the blinds are closed as she drags in behind him, giving the door a kick while she flicks up a light switch. Instantly, there's a flash of light & a BANG - Kate screams - Rick shouts, "Kate!" and lunges for her. Nearly tackling her, he checks for blood. There is none. She's fine, but bordering on becoming hysterical. They sit there in the lamp lit room on the floor, grasping each other, trying to will their breathing to slow down. He realizes that it was just the overhead light bulb blowing when she flicked the switch and the door slamming at the same time. He realizes that they're slightly rocking, and he's whispering comforting words. He cradles her closer, tucking her head under his chin. She lets out a sharp breath to stifle a sob. "I can't do this," she confesses into his shirt. "I just can't." He holds her tightly. Tears begin to sting his eyes. "I'm here. Let me help you do this. You're safe." She burrows against his chest, and he embraces her in a way that maybe she can borrow some of his strength. "Kate, do you remember what I told you, in the cemetery?" She slowly nods yes against him, hearing his heart race. "You remember me telling you I love you?" Her breathing falters as she knows for the first time that it was real, and nods again. His voice was low and quiet;"Do you love me, Kate?" She stills, and hopes he can't feel her tears soaking through his shirt. "Do you?" he repeats softly, and begins gently rubbing her back. "Tell me you love me." She clings to him a little tighter... and finally nods again into his chest. She feels him exhale hard. "Good. Then we can do this together."


	10. Chapter 10

Risk Ch. 10

For the first time in a long time, Kate felt hope. She'd felt a lot of other emotions, good emotions, leading up to this night, but hope hadn't been one of them. No matter how great it was to actually be in a real relationship with Rick, and not have to hide it; she still felt like she was battling alone. She knew in her head that he would do anything for her, he'd proved that time and again; but she hadn't believed it in her heart. She'd given her heart away before, and it had been broken. Shattered, stomped on, whatever cliché worked best. She'd loved her parents. Her mother died. Her father was lost in the bottle for years. She finally let down her walls, and let Will into her heart, but he was offered a transfer to a different FBI office. He chose the promotion over her, and she was left alone again. So no matter how much she trusted Richard Castle in every single other aspect of her life, she hadn't truly believed he was there to stay. Until that moment. His eyes were horrified when he'd thought she'd been shot again, checking her, frantic and desperate. His terror affected her as much as her own did. But he'd immediately transitioned to comforting her, whispering, "It's okay. It's okay, I'm here, it's okay," rocking her in his arms. She tried so hard not to cry, to show her fragility, but she had no strength. There was something about the way he cradled her, enveloping her in his strong arms and filling her heart with tender words. Then he reminded her that he loved her - he hadn't said it since the cemetery- and when she heard those words, all her fear washed away. She could barely breathe. She felt like she was being filled up with warm liquid that just overflowed when it reached her eyes. She believed him. She believed in him. And he was asking her to tell him the same thing. She didn't know why she hesitated to answer… maybe just making sure they were really having this conversation, that it wasn't a dream... but she was sure she couldn't have spoken the words anyway for the lump in her throat. He asked again for her to tell him that she loved him, and the only answer she could find was to nod her affirmation. She felt his muscles relax a little then hold her even tighter. But his embrace changed. What began as protective was now purely affectionate. More tears escaped her eyes when he said they'd get through it together, because she knew - she finally believed in her heart - that they really would get through it. Together.


End file.
